The Shape of Home - J

The first thing I noticed about J when he came to the studio was his slow working speed. What I initially mistook for slowness, though, revealed itself to be methodical and deliberate planning. Quiet and reserved, he chose his words before speaking. In his art-making, he always seemed to have a plan, yet I only ever heard pieces of it. He said he was making a “thinker” and mostly left it at that. I wanted to support him but struggled with what was to me a distant and blurry vision. Looking back at how he started, making a boulder for the thinker to sit upon, I realize that he was building his own foundation. In a project that took him months, he was ultimately supported by something unshakeable: persistence and the allowance for himself to be inside of his own process.

What I see in his art is that J is himself a thinker. Like his sculpture with its very large eyes, he absorbs the environment around him in an attempt to understand. In describing his upbringing he offers deliberate clarity, describing “Anxiety and frustration around my mother. She is very unbearable. The feelings come from what she might do to us, in general.. what would harm us.”

In studying art therapy and human development, I‘ve learned how challenging and rare it is for young people to escape the cycles of what could euphemistically be called a difficult home. Deliberate yet reserved, J entered a program offered by his school to get out of such a situation. He shared, “My mother did not set a high bar to make other places feel safe. It’s been about a year that I have been in the shelter. There are responsible and mature people, and they make me feel safe.” He found his ability to feel safe and to trust the authority figures around him through his own means, by studying them and thinking about them.

While his thinker sculpture appeared to me at first as passive and noodle-limbed, sitting unmoving with giant eyes and no mouth to speak, I look at J and see something active, deliberate, chosen. I see his well-placed trust in the people and situations that serve him while allowing himself distance from those that don’t. I see his steady progress towards stability, building a foundation that was never built for him as he holds down a part-time job and focuses on completing high school.

When I asked him what sculpture he wanted to make to represent his Shape of Home, J answered with characteristic clarity, describing his sister: “Because of the situation we grew up in, we both had to mature faster, grow up faster, and not be kids. I remember she was very independent, and she is still very independent. If she wants to pursue something, she will find a way. She is my role model. She is my home because she cares for me.” J finds security and safety in his sister. He ultimately decided on a pair of glasses to represent her for his sculpture.

Shapes of Home is a part of our Children’s Rights Project. If you or someone you know would like to get involved, contact team@teralta.art.

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